It’s been a month and a half since I’ve written a Wiki Stories newsletter. I got up to Dying Light: The Following and just stopped. I missed one week, then two, and so on, feeling crushed I missed my own deadline. Some days, I joked to myself that I’d just send out a “screw this game” for the DLC and then move onto the next guide.
I’m not sure what to do here. The guides and stories coming up are good and fun (at least I think so), but I know I failed the mission. Do I just cut ties now and shut it down? Do I pick back up and try again? Do I keep the letter around in limbo, sending when I feel like it?
I feel sort of lost with this project, just shy of halfway. I got a polite nudge from Buttondown that I hadn’t sent an email in a while. I knowingly shook my head. I clearly fell off the wagon of building these writing muscles — just like I’ve fallen off working out and building real muscles. The thing I know though is that I can get back on the wagon again. The problem I feel in my gut though is, do I want to right now?
Heck, I wrote the above a week ago – the Buttondown reminder still at the top of my inbox, as another reminder of my missed delivery. I think it’s time to do what I knew I needed to do a week ago.
I’ll be shutting down Wiki Stories. I’ll delete all subscribers as promised and archive the posts.
Now for some brief thoughts and lessons. I have this website where I write. I have this newsletter where I write. Why did I segment my writing?
One goal of Wiki Stories was to foster a group of folks interested in my work as a guide writer. Newsletters are tailor made for that type of shared storytelling. But I think writing in two places helped break my writing momentum down.
Another goal was the building up of regular writing muscles. A one week deadline was too tight for me to start out with. Maybe if I started out as a monthly letter, I’d feel better.
What I do know about myself is that I am a passion driven writer. When I am into a topic, I go all in. 1 When the passion or curiosity goes away, so does the umph to write on said topic. I got to Dying Light: The Following and internally fought against writing about it. Maybe this emotionally driven writing preference reveals a failure as a writer in the true sense of the word. Perhaps I’m nothing more than a self-glorified diary-writer gushing in public. I’m okay with that assessment given how much I enjoy the act of writing and its creative challenges. I think a part of being a writer is also knowing when to pause an idea, tuck the manuscript away until another time. Maybe I’m wrong about that. Who knows.
Maybe I’ll feel invigorated to share these stories again. I’ll make no promise here. For those that subscribed or read any of these letters, thank you. If you care to see what I am writing about, check out maxfrequency.net or follow me on Twitter @MaxRoberts143. I hosts some podcasts as well that I am proud of.
1. I.E. my writing on Naughty Dog games.